you. are. amazing. i look around school & think how lucky i am to have the only boy who really respects a girl. you hold the door for me. you pick me up when you hug me. you walk me to all of my classes even if it makes you late. you hold my hand & kiss me on the cheek when i don’t look happy. you tell me how beautiful i am even though i know i’m shit ugly & wish i knew how to be pretty. i’d be pretty just for you. because you deserve to be with a pretty girl. i love how you compliment me, how you cancel plans with friends just because you want to watch my favorite movie with me. i love how you call me back every time we fight because you don’t want to end the night like that. when you’re over & we’re just laying on my bed, looking at eachother, body-on-body, it feels like nothing could ever make me sad again. you write song lyrics about me that are the sweetest things. you remind me why my life is good & why i don’t need to go back to weed to be happy. you make me happy. when i say happy, it’s so much more than that 5 letter word. it’s all of this put together. it’s all of my memories we’ve made put together. it’s all of the times we’ve laughed out of pure joy together. you wait until i’m ready for the next step. you assure me ways we can make this last even with you going away to college next year leaving me in this crappy town. & that makes me want to piss myself.. so ladylike right? but no. like i’m so happy i can’t even control myself. & i wouldn’t care if i pissed myself. because i’m just in shock of how truly lucky i am. 

what did i do to deserve you. i’ve smoked weed in my own backyard without my parents knowing. i’ve come home shit faced & looked my own mother straight in the face. i’ve made my little brother cry because he was worried about who i was becoming. & although i’ve stopped all that, i still don’t understand how i can have such an amazing guy. i’m waiting for the day that he ruins me. because it will happen. karma’s a bitch, she’ll teach me my already learned lesson as many times as she wants. but for now, i’m in love with our love. i wish i could sing, because i’d write us a nice little love song & sing it to you. something honest & straight from the heart.